Conquer the Fear


"As frightening as it may be, that pain will make you stronger.  
Yet if you are bound to be able feel it, embrace it.  
It will make you more powerful than you have ever imagined. 
 It’s the greatest gift that we have; to bear that pain without breaking.  
And it’s fallen from the most human path: hope. 
 Please, Charles we need you… to hope again."
–Charles Xavier




Just like the young Charles Xavier, I fear pain. I fear getting hurt. I fear making mistakes. Because of this fear, I do not usually take risks. I would rather stay where I am, where it is safe rather than take the step out of my comforts. If I was the young Charles Xavier, I would probably do the same – drug myself to avoid what causes me pain and not to want it back again. But the Old Charles Xavier is right; pain makes us stronger even if it is hurts. There are also instances that even if the fear is real the danger isn’t. We live in fear of something that might not even happen. For instance, I often say that I fear heights. (Well, I thought so.) But I realize that it is not the heights itself I am scared of rather it is the possibility of falling, breaking my bones, and being in and dying in pain.


At the summit of Mt. Manalmon
But two recent trips remind me that I can and will conquer this. Two months ago, I went to a hike with friends. The significance of this hike and reaching the summit of the mountain is not just about being close to the sky and seeing God’s wonderful creation from a higher ground. It is a reminder that fears can be conquered but it takes faith and action in order to overcome the things them. Although it was a terrifying thing for me to go to the summit (with the wind soooo strong), I did. I took the risk. And just a few weeks ago, I zip lined over the ocean. I made the decision to do it even if I know that it will give me the scare worse than a horror movie. I thought I wasn’t going to enjoy it. I thought I was going to close my eyes the whole time but I didn’t. Thank God for the courage. Thank God for the joy. As I was moving from the side of the mountain down to the beach, I saw the beauty of the ocean and the sky. I sure did enjoy it. It was a ride I won’t forget.


Zip line in Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte
In both occasions, I wasn’t harmed. I did not end up with broken bones. They both remind me that there are things that are worth taking the risks for. If I let the fear took over me, I would not have been able to experience what I experienced and see what I saw. I want to conquer this fear. I honestly want to get over this. I want to step on it and say, “Poor fear, sorry, I win!” Little by little, there is improvement. I will take the advice of the old man. I will learn not to fear embracing the pain. I will learn to embrace it and be able to bear it without breaking. And there is hope that I can and will come out stronger.


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