"As frightening as it may be, that pain will make you
stronger.
Yet if you are bound to be
able feel it, embrace it.
It will
make you more powerful than you have ever imagined.
It’s the greatest gift that we have; to bear that pain
without breaking.
And it’s fallen
from the most human path: hope.
Please,
Charles we need you… to hope again."
–Charles Xavier
Just like the young Charles Xavier, I fear pain. I
fear getting hurt. I fear making mistakes. Because of this fear, I do not
usually take risks. I would rather stay where I am, where it is safe rather
than take the step out of my comforts. If I was the young Charles Xavier, I
would probably do the same – drug myself to avoid what causes me
pain and not to want it back again. But the Old Charles Xavier is right; pain
makes us stronger even if it is hurts. There are also instances that even if the
fear is real the danger isn’t. We live in fear of something that might not
even happen. For instance, I often say that I fear heights. (Well, I thought
so.) But I realize that it is not the heights itself I am scared of rather it
is the possibility of falling, breaking my bones, and being in and dying in
pain.
 |
At the summit of Mt. Manalmon |
But two recent trips remind me that I can and will
conquer this. Two months ago, I went to a hike with friends. The significance
of this hike and reaching the summit of the mountain is not just about being
close to the sky and seeing God’s wonderful creation from a higher ground. It is
a reminder that fears can be conquered but it takes faith and action in order to
overcome the things them. Although it was a terrifying thing for
me to go to the summit (with the wind soooo strong), I did. I took the risk. And just a few weeks ago, I zip
lined over the ocean. I made the decision to do it even if I know that it will
give me the scare worse than a horror movie. I thought I wasn’t going to enjoy
it. I thought I was going to close my eyes the whole time but I didn’t. Thank
God for the courage. Thank God for the joy. As I was moving from the side of
the mountain down to the beach, I saw the beauty of the ocean and the sky. I
sure did enjoy it. It was a ride I won’t forget.
 |
Zip line in Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte |
In both occasions, I wasn’t harmed. I did not end up
with broken bones. They both remind me that there are things that are worth
taking the risks for. If I let the fear took over me, I would not have been
able to experience what I experienced and see what I saw. I want to conquer this
fear. I honestly want to get over this. I want to step on it and say, “Poor
fear, sorry, I win!” Little by little, there is improvement. I will take the
advice of the old man. I will learn not to fear embracing the pain. I will
learn to embrace it and be able to bear it without breaking. And there is hope that I
can and will come out stronger.
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