one day I will burst into a song
“The
symphony he is composing includes minor chords, dissonance, and tiresome fugal
passages. But those of us who follow his conducting through early movements
will,
with renewed strength, someday BURST INTO A SONG.”
– Philip Yancey, Where Is God When It Hurts
It
has been a week since it all came down to finally putting an end to all the
confusion. Done! Right there! Freedom given. Freedom received. “Let go.” His
words were. So I did. You let go a lot earlier than I did. I had to have myself in
the right condition before letting go of that string attached to your heart.
You were freed. And I, too, was. A part of me felt relieved but a part of me wanted
to take everything back. “We could have been something,” I thought. But I had
to remind myself to trust in the Lord… to trust His words… to keep my faith.
Sometimes
I find myself thinking about what went wrong. At times, I ask the Lord “Why?”…
But every time I try to figure things out, the Lord tells me not to. “Stop trying
to figure out what went wrong. Stop asking Me why. Look ahead and see what I am
doing NOW.” As what Apostle Paul told the people in Philippi, forget what is
behind; strain toward what is ahead… (Phil. 3:13) Even though I wanted to know
what really happened, I stop myself. I cannot dwell in the past. I have to move
forward. Great things are happening now and greater things await me in the
future. I cannot let the shadows of the past keep on haunting me and stop me
from moving forward in life.
I
cannot say that I am completely over what happened but I will get there. By God’s
grace and power, I know I will. I recognize that there is still pain. But this
pain will not last forever. Somehow, I feel like I owe to thank you for it. If
it was not for it, I would not have been able to experience the Lord at a
different height. Going through the chaos made me see how much I really need God
more than anyone else in this world. I have experienced how gracious God is. I
have felt His embrace like never before. I have tasted the sweetness of His
love that overruled the bitterness that could have stayed in my heart. I know
there is a purpose why it all happened.
It
was a bittersweet ending to a story that could have been something more. Or
maybe that was really all that there was for us… nothing more. Or maybe this is
not the end yet. Well, only the Lord knows. Regardless, what we do now is to
keep our close relationship with Him, trust in Him and obey Him. Someday, one
day, we’ll both be singing songs of love and joy… because what we went through
made us experience the great love God has for us. More than what we had, above
all it is GOD’S GREAT LOVE that remains forever.
#bittersweetending #somuchfeels #GodisSovereign keep moving forward, Sister!
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